Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Randomize
