I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
