JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
You're breaking my sexual little heart
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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