she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize