You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
