i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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