3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
