Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
