a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
