Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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