i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
