Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
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