HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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