butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
