He disabled his match.com account in front of me
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
