Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
