your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
