Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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