I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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