Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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