hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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