I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I am available for nakedness
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