I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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