We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
