and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
