Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
