Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
