lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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