so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Randomize
