i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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