You smell like a Billy Joel song
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
