I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
