Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
