You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Who died my cat blue again?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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