I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
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