Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize