only if we run a train.
done.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
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