She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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