I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
