why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
