i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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