THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
