i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Randomize
