I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
