No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
