just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
