I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
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