you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I'm sobbing to NWA
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
