Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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