i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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