now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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