Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
