So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize