You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
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