Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
