Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I am in a vortex of obligation.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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