And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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