It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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