If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize
