He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Randomize
