I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Randomize
