No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
I think I am morally bankrupt
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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