Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
