i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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