I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
