He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
