Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
