I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
