I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize